just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
