What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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