and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
