someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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