I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
