then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
