I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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