i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
