Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
