people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
