when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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