2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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