I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
