Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
