ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
