Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
