Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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