Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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