I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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