I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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