Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
