he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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