we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
