Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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