If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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