Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ugly people sure do ruin things
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
