I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize