Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
