Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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