I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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