he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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