i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
