I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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