You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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