I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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