why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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