I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
