I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
