careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
