i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
