on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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