Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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