Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize