Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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