I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
