Buhtt sex?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
