I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
