I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
