im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
