The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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