the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Drake has all the answers
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize