He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
