We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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