I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
