if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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