ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize