It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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