Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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