Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
