In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
