Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
