worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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