she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
