my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
