I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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