just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
