I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize