You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
