ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize