It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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