Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
